Sunday, June 29, 2003

What is wrong??!!

what went wrong with my blog??? hey!! it's not suppose to end up like this?? how come half of my postings went in the sidebar?? what did i do??
looks like i gotta keep up with my other blog..

Wednesday, June 25, 2003

I dont feel good today. Why does people always doing something, behind your back. Dont forget!! ... with the intentions of keeping you from getting hurt. When what actually happens is, they care less bout your feelings, and keep on doing it, coz it gives them pleasure personally.

What a TRASH!

Maybe in a way, God is trying to put people that gonna stand in my way, a side. Oh yeah... the process is really "NICELY PACKED".

And now, all I do is blabbering stupid things, out of my mouth. Why cant I be patient with things, with people. Why cant I take control over my own situations?
Why people around me keep on framing me as a loser??!! Where did all come from anyway??

Monday, June 23, 2003


If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, dont deal in lies,
Or being hated, dont give way to hating,
And yet dont look too good, not talk to wise...

>Rudyard Kipling<

Saturday, June 21, 2003


Hear me, O Lord ... my enemies ... they're surrounding me. They give me false counsel & false encouragement. They let me fall to the bottomless pit & didnt even try to pull me up. They slap and spit at my face, for I've caused them social humiliation.

They mock my faith, my hopes and my dreams.

"I am weary with my groaning; all night I soak my pillow with tears, I drench my couch with my weeping. My eye grows dim because of grief, it grows old because of all my enemies." {Psalm 6: 7 - ampl}

Thursday, June 19, 2003

*Sit Tight*

"When the train goes through a tunnel and the world gets dark,
do you jump out?
Of course not.
You sit still and trust the engineer to get you through."

{Corrie ten Boom}

We need to hear that God is still in control.
Dear God help me please. I cant take this any longer. This discouragemant. I dont even dare to dream again. I dont know which way to choose. I cant seem to see the end of the tunnel.
Guide me, dont let me fall, keep my head up high. Make me remember your promises for me. Your hands that comforts me, Your loving words.

Help me O Lord ... Set me free one more time ...

Three times I begged the Lord to take it away. Each time he said, "My gracious favor is all you need. My power works best in your weakness."
{2 Corinthians 12:8-9 NLT }


Yeah.. so what!! Jedi thinks that this blog is boring, flat and whatever! He thinks that my other blog is MORE in a way. Of course he thinks so.. in the other log, it gots His name written all over the posts!!

Fine! lets classified this two blog.. This one is more like a inner reflection of myself. But at a positive way. It's full of my dreams, hopes, even though is quite blur. But I like it that way. You cant actually spit out the whole truth, you gotta keep it mysterious in a way. I mean life is full of surprises, you know!

You got in yourself a two personality. The one that always think positive, and the one who always think negative. It's your choice to let which one maximize itself the most.

Wednesday, June 18, 2003


Bitterness is its own prison. Black and cold, bitterness denies easy escape. The sides are slippery with resentment. A floor of muddy anger stills the feet. The stench of betrayal fills the air and stings the eyes. A cloud of self-pity blocks the view of the tiny exit above.

Step in and look at the prisoners. Victims are chained to the walls. Victims of betrayal. Victims of abuse. Victims of the government, the system, themilitary, the world. They lift their chains as they lift their voices and wail. Loud and long they wail.

They grumble. They're angry at others who got what they didn't.

You can choose, like many, to chain yourself to your hurt.
Or you can choose, like some, to put away your hurts before they become hates.

Monday, June 16, 2003


You know what!? Thank God that Jesus' been there too! He knows what it feels like to be lonely. To be betrayed by your closest one. By your own 'best friend'. Jesus once felt the agony of fear and loneliness [in mind] mixed together, until "His sweat became like great clots of blood dropping down upon the ground". Jesus knows the feeling of exceedingly sad ( overwhelmed with grief ) so that it almost kills Him. He once struck with terror and amazement and deeply troubled and depressed.

I dont want to worship God who cannot understand every trial that I've been through. I need a God who understands me completely, body, spirit and soul. And Jesus knows me!! ... Remember Indira! God's time is perfect. He has promised to never leave you, never fail you, and never forsake you, till the end. Forever...

Saturday, June 14, 2003

+Joy+ It's not a warm, happy feeling you're supposed to have now and
then when things are going well. It's much more than that. Joy is one of
the most powerful spiritual forces in the world.

Do you believe what I'm saying there?? If you said that you need strength to go through some problems, do you know where to look for it? Or do you just pretend like you know, and then pick the wrong substence to give you strength?

Let me tell you something! You can only find strength to conquer your problems by being happy, rejoice in the midst of your tragedies, in the midst of your dillema.

Joy is not just a state of mind. It is not a fleeting emotion. Joy is
a very real force, and the devil doesn't have anything that can stand up against it. Just as fear has to yield to faith, discouragement has to yield to joy.

Sunday, June 08, 2003

Each person contains in theirselves a hazardous cargo. That might be a family cargo or a temperament cargo. It shows how you handle conflicts. Are you a frapuccino style? That iced up the person? Or do you handle it Trash bag style? You stuffed your feelings and judgments real good, until it comes the time where somebody, maybe your significant other, come across your stuffed bag, and unlock it.. Then all those crazy smells will finally blow out!!

Friday, June 06, 2003

Yet, I still dare to hope when I remember this: the unfailing love of the LORD never ends! Lamentations 3: 21-22

Life is full of choices, and the decisions you make will determine where you gonna be, and who you will be in the future. Take the decision to be happy, to be grateful, to be blessed, to be full of hope. Everything is about choices. You are the one who decide who you wanna be.